There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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