You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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