Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
