I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
