I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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