you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
