At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I enjoy the company of your penis
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize