He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
