drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Randomize
