Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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