Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize