My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize