My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
