You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
