im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
