they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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