You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
