i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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