If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
we're making bets on your personal life
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
