So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
