I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I touched a dick in church today
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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