Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
