stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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