brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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