Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
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