I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
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