His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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