hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize