Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
