After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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