No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
