I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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