I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
My vagina is officially offended.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
