"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Randomize
