there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
This is my gift to your gina
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Randomize
