wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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