OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
dude i'm inner monologue high
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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