Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
