You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
