We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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