...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
