they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
