Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
