i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
