im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
she peed on how many people?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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