Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
