Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
