at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Houston, we have a blender
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
