it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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