shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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