DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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