think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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