I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
