Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
