So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
