Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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