Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
