Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
