She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
So apparently I’m into choking now
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
