Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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