just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
