I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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