Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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