One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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