I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
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